Fallacies of the Self

Of my self to be more specific.  As with anyone else within this wide, wide world of ours, I'm prone to having flaws.  Everyone does, and a lot of people like to try and ignore and/or hide them, but I like not being part of the normal ebb and flow of how our world functions.  As such, I'm going to categorically list and examine mine.  To know one's weaknesses is the key to refining one's strengths, or so I tell myself.

Section 1.4: Faults


There are at least two (maybe three) different types of flaws that I can readily classify, so classify them I shall.

Faults which are Definite:

1. Stubbornness

-I'm not known for being meek, and in fact quite the opposite.  I'm very much a stubborn old soul, steadfast in my ways and unwilling to change in the face of opposition, unless of course valid evidence and support is given to convince me otherwise.  This stubbornness has proven to be...irksome occasionally, especially with those who are equally stubborn but hold a dissenting opinion. In such circumstances, it often leads to loud confrontations that disrupt the otherwise peaceful environment.  Don't get me wrong though, it definitely has its advantages, as those who aren't stubborn back off rather quickly and try to see things from my perspective, but generally speaking the stubbornness is considered a negative trait.

2. Procrastination

-I am terrible at getting things done ahead of time.  I always put them off until the last minute, neglecting to keep myself stress free and forcing myself to just focus on one thing for potentially hours at a time.  It doesn't help that I get easily distracted by shiny things floating about the internet.  Heck, I was going to do this whole thing on Sunday but I've already put it off for at least a day, maybe two, depending on how long I make it.  Point in case, etcetera.  That mostly only applies to things that directly effect me, because when I'm working as an employee I never procrastinate and get things done as quickly as possible.

3. Lack of self motivation

-I have the hardest time trying to do things that are good for me or that I'm doing for myself.  Seriously, no self motivation.  It's the reason why none of my artistic works have been fully completed yet, why I've neglected to remain in shape, why I don't make blog posts regularly and all sorts of other things.  I'm just really bad at making sure that things I'm doing for me get done.  On the other hand, I'm fantastic at making sure I get things done for other people.  If someone requests/needs assistance or my skills, I will go out of my way and devote way more time than necessary to making sure it gets done.  So basically, I just need someone to do things for instead of myself and they'll get done.  Unfortunately, I don't have someone in my life for whom I'd make sure to keep myself kempt.  I'm sort of working on that, but not really.

4. Perfectionism

-When working on something that I'm intrigued by or that is a personal project, I am incredibly picky with how it comes out.  If it's not *just* right, I have to tweak it in order to make it right.  Very minute things find ways of bugging the heck out of me until I fix them.  I normally notice this tendency when drawing more than during any other activity, but I know it resides within me.

5. Obsessiveness
-I can, with relative ease, get fanatically obsessed with things.  Not quite "I own everything related to [object of fanaticism]" but substantially more than "I really enjoyed that." Basically, it begins to invade the majority of my thoughts and dreams but it doesn't overtake my life.  They're just personal fads, they come and go with the wind.  The most recent of these obsessions is that of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."  Yes, I know, Ponies.  What started out as a ploy to get parents to buy girls plastic ponies has evolved to become so much more than that.  Here's a link to a FAQ about why we Bronies (Bros+Ponies=?(My Preferred Alternative:Bros who love Ponies)) watch it.  Just trust me when I say that it's just really good, but it's the community that surrounds it that keeps me entangled in the bronidom.

*Note: I had to bring up ponies somehow, this seemed like a good way

Faults which are Perceived:

1. Shyness

-I'm not very good at talking to new people.  This isn't specifically a bad thing, it just makes me slightly more awkward than I could be.  Having been a barista for a few years has helped rather immensely though, as I'm far more willing and less nervous about going up to people and introducing myself.

2. Lack of openness

-I tend to keep things bottled up.  It's a part of me, it's who I am.  Fortunately, there isn't a whole lot of negative stuff going on in my life, but it's still not super healthy to not express myself.  But bottling up one's self isn't exactly not being open, and probably worse for you.  Not being open helps prevent any unnecessary emotional scarring from people you don't know overly well.  As such, those who aren't that open tend to have a vent, someone they trust who they can talk to about pretty much anything and get it out of their systems.  Currently, however, I am lacking a vent, and it might be starting to get to me.  We'll see, if I go crazy in the next couple years, this is probably why.

3. Honesty

-I am too honest.  To the point of being blunt with my honest.  People don't like it when I'm blunt about things that may be true but rather hard to take.  It can come off as being genuinely coldhearted, which isn't the case, I just say it like it is.  Honesty is a good thing, but when applied bluntly people often take it the wrong way. Also: I'm really bad at talking myself up to people when searching for a job.  I tell them my faults along with my strengths.  People apparently prefer to be surprised by faults than hear them up front, which is silly.

4. Geekiness

-If you know me by any means, and you probably do, you'll know I'm a geek. For some reason, people tend to look down on the geeks, even though we're the ones they come running to when something goes awry with their computers or fancy technologies that they don't really know how to work but have because it's chic or whatever.  Geeks run the world, so I don't see why people dismiss nerdiness as a bad thing.

5. Introversion
-I tend to spend a lot of my leisure time alone, and it's entirely by choice.  I'm not overly social, it's not something that comes naturally to me.  It's been a learned skill, and one that has definitely proven beneficial, but it's not something I go out of my way to do.  Being on my own I can do whatever I want whenever I want to, and that's a part of it, but it's also just a major part of how I operate. If I don't have any time to myself to just relax or focus on odd things, I kind of go crazy.  You know how some people can't stand quietness or being alone?  I'm pretty much exactly the opposite, I love quietness and am fully capable of being alone for extended periods of time without any major repercussions.  The extraverts, however, don't understand this and think it's part of a mental defect or something.  Unless they're the smart extraverts that actually know what an extravert is.

6. Arrogance

-I have a slight issue of being rather arrogant.  It's far from my largest flaw, but it sneaks its way in every once and again, but for the most part I've got myself to be rather humble.  I don't tend to think I'm better than anyone, I don't judge people, I attempt to deny any remarks about my superiority and if complimented I don't respond smugly.  However, some of the things that come out of my mouth are thought of as arrogant, and it's not that I'm ever trying to be.  I just happen to know a lot of stuff, and I'm really good at figuring things out, so if someone says something that I know to be wrong, I attempt to correct them.  Fun fact, a lot of people don't like to be corrected on topics that they consider themselves "experts" on.


Mkay, I think that 'bout covers it, there's probably more as I'm far from perfect, but whatever, I enjoy myself.

Cheers,
~Cam